As part of my recovery I am kicking off the new year with blogging the steps, one per month for the next 12 months.
Ah, good ole step 1. This step, I believe is the MOST IMPORTANT step.You do not have to get any of the other steps right but this one! because if you miss this step, well than you are sure to relapse. If you can’t admit 100% with every fiber of your being that your an alcoholic, then please try some controlled drinking as they suggest in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. (Chapter 3. pages 30-32)
Now just so we are clear, I am not trying in anyway to push the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous on any one. I know that a lot of people despise this group, they think they are a cult and on and on and on, but I can tell you one thing; my mother and my oldest brother walked into the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous and wound up dying because they didn’t take the suggestions or the program serious. When I first walked into the rooms, I also didn’t take the suggestions and inevitably found my self drunk again from Christmas eve right up until New Year’s day. What I am saying is give it a try, be open minded and surround yourself with the winners and I promise, you will be a winner also. Do I agree with what everyone says and does in AA? “hell” no! What I did and still do today, is take the best and leave the rest. The AA book says that their hats are off to anyone that can over come this great obsession with alcohol without AA and I feel the same, some people do just quit or find the Lord. I have seen it, it does happen! although I have not seen a lot of it. My blog is to help Mom’s get or stay sober, it’s a place to vent and not for anyone to judge, so what ever works for you is what I feel you should do. I try and practice love and tolerance at all times and if you share on my blog I expect the same from you! this is not a forum for debate, it is a support site and I only can tell you what worked for me.
For years I knew I was powerless over alcohol towards the end my powerlessness became drinking at 9 am, but my life wasn’t unmanageable! So I thought! I was a very high functioning alcoholic up until the end. I really can’t say how long I really really knew that I was a drunk. I believe at first it was just a way of life because it’s the way I was brought up, but as I got older when ever alcoholism would be discussed either on the T.V or by various people I can always remember feeling like I had to leave the room or shut off the T.V. whatever or whoever was talking about it. I know around my 30′s I can remember thinking other people don’t drink the way I do. I also remember towards the end of my drinking I couldn’t even watch the series Intervention, it hit way too close to home. Now it’s one of my favorite shows. It keeps it real for me.
I felt my life wasn’t unmanageable because I had a nice home, money to burn, a good marriage, a child that I was able to stay home with and never got any DUI’s, today I know that if I ever relapse all of those “yet’s” that didn’t happen are just waiting right there for me. It wasn’t until I did my fourth step that I realized how unmanageable my life really was. Most people by the time they give up drinking have hit rock bottom they have nothing left, or they have lost their family, or have several DUI, and realize right away that their life is unmanageable.
So if your thinking your an alcoholic but your not really sure, go on line there are several quiz’s to help you, pick up the AA Big Book or read it on line, all you have to do is read the Doctor’s Opinion, Bill’s Story and some of the personal stories in the back, and if you find yourself relating to 90-99% of those stories in one way or another, it may be time to admit that you are an alcoholic. Is it the end of the world? No! let me repeat it is NOT the end of the world! Our society has come a long way in accepting this disease and still has a long way to go. I see a lot of young people in AA. Of course I am in Florida and we are ranked something like the 3rd or 4th in the USA for recovery, but when I see some one young in AA I always feel so happy for them, if they can stay sober they will live a much better life then they could have ever imagined.
If you have decided that you are an alcoholic and want to be a member of AA, just find a local meeting in your area and start attending the meetings, when I first got sober I went to 3 meetings a day for over 6 months, of course I live in one of the recovery capitols of the US you may not have as many meetings in your area. The suggestion is 90 meetings in 90 days. Let others know you are new they will help, I can’t promise too many things but I can promise that.
I hope you enjoyed this step? It’s not a very long one, but it’s a huge concept and only you can decide for yourself if you are an alcoholic or not? I hope it gave you a bit of knowledge and if your recovering or if you have years of sobriety I hope it gave you some memories of when you first got sober. I welcome any suggestions, comments, input as to what worked for other Mom’s, just remember there is no one right way and please practice love and tolerance at all times.
I remember a man telling me, us AA people are not so glum! frankly I never thought that they were I always thought “where could you go and have a few laughs, feel better for a donation of a buck in a hour”. I’ve spent thousands on a shrinks over the years and found out from AA that drinking was just a symptom of my underlying problems…………
Reading for Step 1 in the A.A. Big Book of Alcoholic’s Anonymous is The Doctor’s Opinion and Chapter 3: More about Alcoholism
If you are looking for recovery centers, visit my website http://www.sobermoms.com